A Cold Day in Hell
by ToCryCrimsonTears
Summary: I got an idea at 6:20 in the morning asking myself what if Rock Lee had a cold? This would be the result of that random thought, and adventure following my favorite spandex clad ninja through his struggle against the common cold.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I got the idea for this fic at 6:20 in the morning before my bio regents. My bus is here…shit… well anyways hope you enjoy. OK now I can finish what I was saying this morning. I got this idea at 6:20 in the morning the day of Bio regents. I went to pour a cup of orange juice when I saw the cough strips on my counter and then I thought….'what if rock lee got a cold?' So I spawned this. I hope you like it RXR!

Title: A Cold Day in Hell  
Chapter One: Not My Morning

On the edge of the village was a house, in that house lived a shinobi, in this shinobi's house was room, in that room was a bed, and on that bed was the Shinobi snuggled up in a giant mass of green blankets, sheets and pillows. A mutter escaped the sleeping green giant of Konoha as it rolled off of the bed leaving behind its trail of pillows, much like a slug and its trail of slime, making it way down the hallway.

This particular blob was not feeling as bouncy as he usually did, this particular blob was indeed sick, though he did not know it yet. As the blanket mass made its way into the kitchen it opened a rounded eye catching a glance at the microwave clock which now read 6:30 am. Its other eye was still trying to sleep.

It moved in silence save the scratching noise from its woven skin against the tile floor, as it gilded over to the cereal cabinet, and at that moment a let out a terrifying sound. Like some sort of mating call, though this would not be how this particular blob would attract itself a nice female blob.

"A-A-ACHOOOOOOOO!"

A yes a cold. Simply diagnosed and treated. Sadly the blob knew not of this 'cold' and so blinked in confusion both eye now open, and full of confusion. Its nose felt tingly, which was not to its preference and so it reached a clothed claw to its hidden face and gave a scratch, hoping to stop this tingle. Its eyes squinted in frustration and then watered as another-

"ACHOOOOOOOOOO!" it grumbled something in its own language now sliding its trail of pillows over to the opposite counter rummaging through the cabinets for some sort of medical cure…some sort of….aha.

Cough syrup? No that wouldn't do the blob had made a sneeze, not a cough that much it knew, although its mind was still on its warm and quiet sleeping cove at the other end of the house, and still not quite up to speed.

"Cov medicine…" Came a sniffle as it rummaged some more. Its paw wrapped around the box as it pulled it out its large eyes scanned over the back. 'Cold be gone. May cause drossiness…' No drowsy would not do. Not today at least. The blanket monster made a sort coughing sound and then continued for its body would not listen to the now more accelerated mind which currently was telling it to stop.

It was back to the cough medicine….but not the syrup….something….more convenient. Something it could shove into one of its flesh pockets and be done with. His massive paws rummaged some more and pulled dot the god sent gift. 'Cough strips. Relives cough for eight hours.' Ahhh yes…there was the answer printed on cheap cardboard for all to see.

At that moment the monster had gotten up to its usual speed of mind and body. It yawned pushing off its extra skin, shedding if you will revealing a much leaner, more human body than its original form. Its eyes were still wide and round, but now instead of that cotton and polyester exoskeleton it had a pair of loose PJ pants with the words Dance Beaver written under each, disco clad cartoon beaver that occupied its pants, and a loose black T-shirt.

Its hair was much shorter ending just above its thickened eyebrows, possibly some sort of adaptation to its habitat to keep the sun from its rather large pupils, and at the top of its ears. In truth one could say it was a bowl cut, a beetles rip off if you would.

This specific species of blob had its own scientific name its Genus being Rock Lee.

So Rock Lee took out a packet of four and placed it next to the fridge so he wouldn't forget it on his way out. He grabbed a bowl and some Trix. Who care dif it was for kids…he was youthful enough.

Once done with breakfast ,which took much longer than normal due to the random intervals his lungs decided to convulse causing him to that dreaded 'cough' thing before he could continue on with his eating, it was time to take the first strip of the day.

He placed the small rectangular piece of medication on his tongue and froze an rather…interesting look coming onto his face. His eye twitched and he tried his best to stand that…that taste until it dissolved. This, he had not pulled through with and spit it into the garbage.

It said relives cough for 8 hours! How was he suppose to know it tasted so…it tasted so…NASTY! This vial strip of cough relief was probably running through his system laughing at him saying 'Ha! Stupid lee! Now you're mouth is all icky! Foo!' yeah that was it. Fate always managed to smite him, just like how the coin never lands on the side he calls. So in turn he'd call out heads but really meant tails, which worked much better.

He squinted over at the packet of strips as if to say 'How could you!' He had to do this four more times today…and not spit it out. A task worthy of ANBU all its own.


	2. Youthful Chicken soup for the shinobi

A/n: THANKS FOR THE REVIEWS! It's good to know there are other people out there who like Lee. HE'S THE SHIT! I lurv him to no end…even if his eyebrow are huge..He's still fuzzy on the inside! (No pun intended) Anyways, here's the next chapter hope you guys like it! Sorry I went over my deadline I got grounded…''

Title: A Cold Day in Hell  
Chapter 2: Youthful Chicken for the Shinobi Soul

At 7:30am Rock Lee was making his way to the usual training spot in the clearing. The spring to his step seemed to have lost its spoing, and the glitter in his eyes had dulled considerably, but this was all a bodily thing. 'THIS COLD WON'T GE THE BEST OF ME! FOR I AM FULL OF YOUTH AND ANTI-BODIES!' was what he'd tell himself now and then whenever his body told him. 'sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep' Yes it was fight between mind and body. Good and evil….or good and a tired version of good. He waved wearily at a few passer-bys on his way over, some rather thankful he hadn't glomped them, as was the norm, and others figured 'ah well, the world had to end at one point or another.'

He looked down at the box in his hand; he read it over again, and again, and again. It was the same warning label every time! Nowhere did it say 'may cause your stomach to knot up and make you feel like you're gagging on…on…' oh come on lee think of something nasty, you can do it! 'Gai-sensei's socks!' He paused for a moment. Did Gai-sensei even wear socks…..? Oh well. Back to the subject at hand! He sighed slipping the tin foil covered slip out of the box grimacing at the thought of having to take this without spitting it out.

He ripped open the top of the packet cringing as if the slight crinkling sound it made was nails being dragged on a chalk board. He grabbed the small cherry red film between his pointer finger and thumb and slid it out. Alright! The moment of truth! The poor shinobi, so inexperienced in the battle field of cold medicine placed it on his tongue. He relaxed once he realized that it wasn't so bad. I mean he could barley taste I- GAAAAAAH!

Oh, he tasted it now alright! 'DON'T SPIT IT OUT! DON'T SPIT IT OUT! DON'T SPIT IT OUT OR SKAURA-CHAN WILL NEVER LOVE YOU!' He waited for the rest to dissolve before narrowing his eyes at that cursed box. He'd figure out away around this! There had to be some way to…aha! As he made the rest of his way to the training field he had a spring to his step, that wasn't there before. He had a plan to get around this cold strip stuff, and he knew it was going to work!

Ten Ten had just stepped into the training grounds when she spotted a blob of green, and orange lying on the ground surrounded by what looked like wrinkled tin foil and…a box. She approached Lee an eyebrow arched high upon her forehead, stepping around the fallen wrapping. "Lee….?"

"mmmm'yeaaaahh?" He sounded…odd to say the least. Bubbly, more so than his normal self, and somewhat spacey. She looked down at the empty box dangling limply from her teammates fingers. 'Cold Strips.' Ten Ten tried her best to understand why Lee would (one) Have this box in the first place, and (two) how many did he take? She knelt down taking the box and reading over it.

"Lee? How many did you take? It says one every couple of hours! Not…" she blinked reading the contents of the box. "THERE WERE TWELVE OF THESE?" Ten Ten exclaimed flipping the box over again. "For god-sake Rock Lee there are THREE panels of drug facts in on this box!"

"It daste naaaasty…..two at a time dasted worse…so I took all of them ad once. The same amount of medicines……right Ten Ten-chan?" He waved his hands elaborately in the air, disorientated a bit.

"I don't care if your sorry…what if you overdose or something! I don't even know if we have a…poison control? In Konoha!"

"Whad poison control?"

"My point exactly!"

The two fell silent, Ten Ten, flipping over the box reading over every Drug Fact panel carefully, Lee starring at the clouds muttering to himself about a stomach ache and if there were tummy ache strips….

"Ten Ten-chan?" Lee muttered breaking the silence. She looked up from the box at him to show she heard and that he could continue. "Whad's…titanium dioxide?" She blinked tapping her chin with her pointer finger scanning over the box.

"Uuuuhh….it on here under inactive ingredients….maybe it's…uhhh. Isn't Titanium a kind of metal?" She sat down running her fingers through her bangs muttering about them trying to poison poor ninja's with colds by making them ingest metal! "It says there's alcohol in this too! And…pregentialila starch? Pregalin…pregelatam….pre-"

"Pregelatinized starch." A certain Hyuuga interrupted as he made his way over to his fellow gennin. Ten Ten and Lee exchanged a look and in unison asked,

"What's that?" 

Neji rolled his eyes. "Break it down. Pre. Before hand. Gelatinized. Turned into gel."

"oooooooh!" They both nodded in understanding. Le being the first to speak now got to his feet and pointed dramatically at Neji.

"So what does dhat make it?"

"and why does it say there's alcohol in it?" Ten Ten voiced wanting an answer to her question as well." And titanium? Isn't that metal?" She and Lee were both on there feet now standing right in front of Neji who was feeling rather intimidated at the moment. And why the hell did Ten Ten smell so good today? 

"First off. Why do you two have an empty box of cold strips?" Neji backed away eyeing to two suspiciously.

''m sick…real sick…I keep coughing…." Lee sniffled itching his nose with the back of his hand. "Annn I think I had too many…..of dose strip dings? So now we need to find poison control….and"

"Poison control?"

Ten Ten jumped. "EXACTLY!"


End file.
